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gradually and then suddenly (2014)

by all my nights are dreams

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1.
I found a way to your heart a lonely detour in the dark I found a trumpet for your truth and a stage on which to play your inconsistent blues well it's easy enough to wonder it's easy enough to die it's easy enough to hurt yourself and hold it deep deep down inside it's hard to face the struggle it's hard to save your light.. when you finally are free of the rubble and debris that wrecked your life stand up be strong none of us have all that long stand up don't you fall don't you crawl back in that dark you gotta sing a little louder you gotta walk a little prouder or maybe we should just pray a little harder none of us really belong to the night.
2.
We were birds, imitating birds falling towards earth, sedimentary verse we were young, and we held the world with arms outstretched, so we could watch it squirm you were the ghost, that haunts the ghost like Henry Thoreau, we spend our lives alone tell me if it hurts, if it all feels bad nothing is built to last, never learned to dance and the highway is a woman's breast, the sky her song lets hold on to this emptiness until it's gone... until everything's gone invent the train, and you invite the train wreck an astrophysics joke, Schrodinger's cat and the nightmares that, I still get I appreciate the company, even at my own torment all love, is rudimentary, it's a small thing against the ennui of eternity when I fell to the dirt, and reached for your hand you couldn't pull me up, but let me stand the skyline is a woman's heart, and now it's dawn lets hold on to this emptiness until it's gone... until everything's gone
3.
i suppose it's true that nobody ever lies about feeling lonely well, it doesn't hurt my pride darling, i'm lonesome it's hard to hold my head up sometimes rain's coming down from that dark cloud that has followed me my whole life or haven't you noticed i'm in some dark room right now playing guitar for the drywall thinking of all the ways I've let you down... ain't that the truth, ain't that the way blame it on the blues, that never go away i guess that's the best, we're bound to get it's not as we'd hoped, it's more than we can accept some things can't be changed i suppose you're right you were better then I deserved at the time and i was worse then I'd imagined with that lonely old moon on the rise you still get through the night even without anyone at your side now I complain more then I'll admit to and i'm given to foolish pride so let me collect my things not everything can go as we plan i'll head back out to that highway with no certainty of where I'll land ain't that the truth, ain't that the way blame it on the blues, that never go away i guess that's the best, we're bound to get it's not as we'd hoped, it's more than we can accept some things can't be changed
4.
geronimo 04:10
you've got 10000 doors, and 80 years or so sun beat the heavens bloody, then restored by a veil of darkness and what dreams you may know something like an omen, a black cat or a crow i adopted the language of my family before i could define the words i'd hear father speak like the grey hare tied up to a bruised birch tree the ax fell swifter then the rabbits' scream diamonds wrapped around my mothers arm glistened in the sun, like a second husband we were blind to these occurrences we were yet young the truth is in the telling, the shot is in the gun . ..and so it goes, look out below it goes, Geronimo... so it goes, before we notice so it goes... la, di, da, doe... harder then it has to be, that's my girl Emily we dressed up as villains every halloween drank stolen liquor in the town cemetery and sang off key love songs with no melody we were learning to love and we were driving too fast greeting each new morning as if it were our last we'd turn down gravel roads with nowhere to go winter then springtime then summer, you know roll down the windows turn off the air i've been all around the world just to find you here we're made of the same stuff, dirt beneath our nails turn with a crooked smile, the way a dog turns to it's tail ...and so it goes, look out below it goes, Geronimo... so it goes, before we notice, so it goes... la, di, da, doe... you were engaged by 17 to my best friends' brother and sisters' ex boyfriend i left the small town because i had dreams of a city, but no city would ever accept me mother remarried a 3rd then a 4th time i lost track of so many folks down the line but i remember December and your broken leg and the crutches you threw down as you yelled at me in the fog of morning, in a light rain you breathe on the window and scrawl out a name sing to the furniture and dishes in the sink dance by yourself and allow a small dream ...and so it goes, look out below it goes, Geronimo... so it goes, before we notice, so it goes... la, di, da, doe...
5.
when you're young you are free, but you're not as free as when you learn, how to drop the shackles off it's not something we all get, not an answer that you want i know you're life is hard, burn whatever fire that you got and death, doesn't have to be an end, don't occupy your thoughts may we begin again, it's only changing forms of all the natural world, i have been assured there's comfort and there's peace, just look at the autumn leaves when you're sad, sometimes you go too far, it's easy to get lost out here in the dark, when no one's looking back abandoned in the storm, stranded and alone rains that know no end, the walls are closing in and love, love can take your hand, let it lift your weary thoughts the sun will rise again, just open up your heart then we'll see where things land, when the storm finally lifts the dark clouds recede, it's not a reprieve we all get i thought, i would find you here, in the kitchen by yourself with all the lights turned off, there's nobody else to speak in whisper tones, this island of a home where you and i are stranded, together and alone i only struck the chord.. i only struck the chord, so that i could hear you sing so that i could hear you sing...
6.
quiver 03:24
tell mama, i'll find my way I was born from a quiver a taut bow drawn then released the canyon is wide as the river is deep somehow I'll find my place among second growth forests pine, fir, and fathers grave I may always be your child but I will be brave to the folks who gave me my name those kindly young strangers in that forgotten place what you keep and what you save are not the same there's a bell that's still waiting to toll and a war that's yet to be won lessons you learn, on your own when you depend on no one don't worry your gentle mind i'm a pistol, a fighter and the rattle always sounds before a strike shadows may darken even the brightest light there's a bell that's still waiting to toll and a war that's yet to be won lessons you learn, on your own when you depend on no one one day the other shoe will fall and we'll make our way out of this dark we'll tear down the walls, that for too long have been tearing us apart tell mama, i'll find my way I was born from a quiver a taut bow drawn then released the canyon is wide as the river is deep
7.
time will cure you of hope validate your pain vanquish your dreams run off with your things time will bring you the rope and show you to the tree teach you to joke about misery i'm giving up, i'm getting out cutting loose, laying down the world is not worth my pain turning in, i'll take a pass the best of us is in the past the world is too old to change and if i could just look away before ...it starts up again time will drive you to drink to forget all that you've seen it will burden your heart turn you cruel and mean time is starting to stink it's a slow inching decline forced you to the brink until you doubt even your own mind i'm giving up, i'm getting out cutting loose, laying down the world is not worth my pain turning in, i'll take a pass the best of us is in the past the world is too old to change and if i could just look away before ...it starts up again
8.
it's more then a heart should bare the quiet since you're not here i've been learning to stand up straight and how to levitate I'm no longer breaking chairs one day i just disappeared i've been talking to the spirits that haunt the darker corners of the heart my feet never touched the ground and i'll be singing a chord struck once resounds keeps ringing we'll rise up through the clouds and i won't look down... i won't look down time's never moved so slow since I've started to let you go gravity doesn't have the pull that it used to i can project myself anywhere vanish into thin air i keep to the shadows and night and then take to flight my feet never touched the ground and i'll be singing a chord struck once resounds keeps ringing we'll rise up through the clouds and i won't look down... i won't look down

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released July 25, 2015

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All My Nights Are Dreams Cheyenne, Wyoming

punk pyrate folk fooker gut-punch philosophaster.

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